Ooh-la-la! Last year's underwear-as-outerwear is out. This year, femininity is in.
Not last year's femininity, of course. No, no, no. Maison des Filles has rethought women from the tops of their gorgeous
little heads to the tips of their irresistible little toes. This season's line is designed specifically for the confident,
unaffected, ravishing creature that is this season's you!
Traditionally, women's clothing has no pockets. Women don't need them! If you want something a third martini, say,
or a mink stole, or an abortion why, there's always a man around to pay for it, isn't there? You know there is. Well,
we've taken that thought one step further, and eliminated the arms altogether. Why should a women need arms? To do things?
Don't make us laugh.
Note as well the saucy cut of our new micro-minidress. When you sit, it provides your admirers with a naughty flash of
well, everything, basically. The fact that it's worn without underwear or shoes sends a message that says: I'm flirty, but
down-to-earth. I'm natural, but obsessed with fashion. I'm skeptical, but easily mislead. And I don't have any pockets.
Examine the needlework. Exquisite! This caliber of craftsmanship can only be done by Third World war widows whose lives
probably don't bear thinking about. Run a hand over the fringe surrounding the cowl. So soft! It's made of hand-pieced owl
feathers from a bird freshly removed from the endangered species list - so your conscience is clean! - and yet still rare
enough that only you will be able to afford it.
And the rattan hats? They're the crowning touch! They create a look that says: Be proud of what you are. If your brains
are in your butt and your head is full of shit Why, then, put your chair where it belongs!