Prick the Donkey was, for all his virtues, no great shakes as a scholar. He went to a school for well-bred asses
and studied under a famous pedantic ass, but oh, it was hard, it was hard, it was hard! Try though he might, he
could not memorize his lessons. The instant he opened his school-book, all the answers would flee from his
head.
Worse, Prick was terrified of his teacher. At exam time that solemn old ass would glare down at him, wooden
spoon ready to descend upon Prick's head should he answer incorrectly, and tears of misery would flood Prick's
eyes. The other students laughed and jeered, of course. Youth is so cruel! But though their barbs stung him, Prick
fought not to show it. He was brought up believing that an ass is the noblest of beasts. So he always strove to act
like one.
At last he went to his father for advice. That venerable ass snorted and said, "Tell me, son What is the
purpose of an education?"
Prick thought. "To learn a skill?"
"Skills are for tradesmen!" his father brayed derisively. "No, the purpose of an education is to
get a diploma, so that you may be a lawyer, an arranger, a leader of men!"
Prick the Donkey had never thought of it that way. "But doesn't one need to learn in order to get a
degree?"
"Not necessarily," his father said. "Not if one contributes generously enough to his school."
Overcome by his father's wisdom, Prick the Donkey could only bob his head and bleat his gratitude.
From that day on, education was much simpler for Prick. If a class was too difficult for him, he skipped it.
If a teacher refused to give him good grades, that worthy soon found himself transferred elsewhere. School became
as easy for Prick as everything else in his life. It was a lesson he never forgot.
In later years, Prick made self-reliance a cornerstone of his political philosophy. He considered himself to
be, as he told anybody who would listen, a self-made ass.
This is the 14th of 80 stories by Michael Swanwick written to accompany
Francisco Goya's Los Caprichos. For a listing of the most recently available
stories, go to The Sleep of Reason.